Skye Jethani had the best breakdown I read in the wake of President Obama’s endorsement of same-sex marriage:
I’ve spoken to a number of conservative legal scholars about the subject, and I’ve always heard the same thing: the church lost the battle over same sex marriage three decades ago. How, you ask? Because the church was silent when state after state passed no-fault divorce laws. These bills essentially removed the state from any interest in preserving or defining marriage. No fault divorce laws defined marriage as an agreement between two individuals that may be entered or dissolved as the individuals desire without state interference or prejudice.
Believers are welcome to limit marriage to a covenant between God, a man, and a woman. We just can’t prevent our government from withholding tax benefits from other citizens. Anecdotally, I think a lot of Christians are happy to see the government extend tax benefits to more people. We just don’t like same-sex marriage proponents co-opting our word.
The problem: Christians removed God from marriage a long time ago. What many call “marriage” is more of a Christian-themed, government-endorsed cohabitation. Christians know intuitively that same-sex marriage isn’t real marriage, they just can’t articulate what a real marriage is.